In any relationship I am asked to consider, the first question, with the most telling answer:
Who Loves the Least?
Who has no love for respect, consideration, courtesy, demonstration of personal integrity, or compassion?
In Scripture and in many marriage ceremonies we can look to the definition of: What is Love?
“Love is patient, Love is kind, Love is not self-seeking, Love is not easily angered, Love perseveres…………”
Chapter 13 First Corinthians
With my dear reader’s patience and understanding, please remember that as I ‘fictionalize’ whatever example in my writing; there are still only two genders from which to choose. Certainly I can take a female and make the character in my writing, male. And Vice-versa. But neither gender has an exclusive on acts of Stupid, Selfish, Loveless, Mean, etc.
I can say he or she, maybe I should write he/she, him/her, his/hers.
Consider the antics of a Dearheart that came to my attention, recently: He/she answered an ad in a ‘romance wanted’ section of a newspaper.
Specifically the ad requested a general age range of about sixty years, absolutely no use of tobacco in any form, and in a ‘non-debt’ economic status. The one who placed the ad wanted Peace and companionship in his/her last years.
The two met. They courted. All seemed right. Marriage followed. Then the Hell began. There were a few lies, falsehoods, fibs, and hidden qualities. And with their accidental discovery, one more biggie of a detail:
The arrogant nature of he/she who boasted, flat out, (paraphrasing) ‘yes, I have smoked three packs a day for forty years, yes I like my Vodka and I like my Rum, and I like my pain-pills, and there is nothing you can do to make me stop!’
Then there were the heart-wrenching true, follow up comments: “Divorce me, expensive for sure, but hey! not my loss. I do not care. You love me, I do not really care about you, or your opinions.
You made vows. I know how much and deeply you meant those vows.”
On the face of he /she who spoke an ugly smirking sneer.